> A FUNNY STORY
> Yesterday I was at my local Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow
> for my loyal pet, Sheriff, the Wonder Dog and was in the
> checkout line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
> What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little
> to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I
> was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably
> shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd
> lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming
> out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
> I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way
> that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and
> simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is
> nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it
> again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was
> now enthralled with my story.)
> Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog
> food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an
> Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both.
> I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was
> laughing so hard.
> Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore.
> Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in
> the world to think of crazy things to say.
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